Good old Blighty… what is it good for? Well, very little, if we’re honest. But one thing we can at least be proud of one our shores is our advertising, because without doubt we make the least terrible, the least vomit-inducing ads in the whole wide world.

Take the example below (sick bags at the ready) for the Samsung Genio Touch. What an absolute beauty. We can imagine the creative pitch to the client now: So, right, yeah, like, totally imagine, like, the phone – the phone is like the star here, so there’s hundreds of them right – and then like, imagine one of those twisty tube things, you know, like, from when you were a kid, with the glitter and the spinning, you know – a kaleidoscope! Yeah! That’s what they’re called – and like, that’s how the add works. Yeah? Like spinning and mirrors and stuff. Yeah.

Thanks for that, Creative Mind of the Year 2009. And look, look what else we have, some young people jumping around in water and so on. Gosh, this phone really is vibrant and playful, and I think it will fit into my active yet budget conscious lifestyle. I will appreciate the range of social media applications, engaging with them in order to facilitate an ‘always on’ sense of entertainment…

Who’d have thought it, the ad actually works. Or it would do if we’d been lobotomised at the age of twelve and then fed nothing but Big Macs and Coke (the fizzy brown stuff, not the good stuff).

All of which is a shame because the Samsung Genio Touch is – as budget phones go – pretty darn decent. Or favourite TouchWiz interface is onboard, as is some nice haptic feedback from the touchscreen and it’s all wrapped up in a dinky, nifty design. What more can we say… apart from go have a gander at this Samsung Genio Touch review, or at the official press release.

So the summer is coming to an end, yet we seem to be enjoying some rare sunshine here in the UK. To celebrate this rarity we have decided to put together a list of our 8 favourite mobile phones and the best deals that are available with them. We might make this a regular feature, it just depends how useful you guys think it is. So let’s get started.
1. Nokia N97 deals – The hottest Nokia mobile phone out there right now. Yes it has a few problems, but nothing a few firmware updates will sort out. You can get a free ipod shuffle on T-Mobile with 800 minutes and unlimited texts for under £40.00 per month.
2. HTC Hero deals – Android is the way forward and the HTC Hero is the best of the lot. At £15 per month cheaper than the N97 it is worthy of the number 2 spot. You do only get 400 minutes per month though.
3. HTC Touch diamond 2 deals – much improved from the original Diamond, we really like the interface on this phone. £30.00 per month on O2 is the one to beat here, with 400 minutes and 500 texts.
4. Sony W995 deals – The best Sony Ericsson phone available in the market at the moment. You get music, camera and a sleek design all rolled into one. And for a little of £21.00 per month on Orange we think that it is a bargain.
5. Blackberry 8520 deals -No list would be complete without a Blackberry. The new 8520 is a slimmer sleeker version of the older models and we are very impressed with it. There is a deal with Orange offering £170 cashback on a £35.00 per month deal, so now is the time to grab this one whilst its cheap.
6. Nokia 5530 deals – Wow this is a cheap mobile phone. Vodafone are offering this one with 600 minutes and unlimited texts for just £21.00 per month, an absolute bargain.
7. Samsung Jet deals – The new addition to Android community has been well received and if you are looking for an alternative to HTC this one needs to be considered. Grab it O2 for £29.35 per month on O2 or £21.20 on Orange if you don’t mind cashback deals.
8. Nokia N86 deals – Gamers delight in this fabulous handset. Yes there are cheaper Nokia phones out there, but if you like to game then this one is a must. Vodafone are offering it for £31.00 with 600 minutes unlimited texts.
So there you have it our run down of the best mobile phones with the best deals. It is probably worth bearing in mind that these offer change quickly so grab them whilst they are still around.

If you thought Bluetooth headsets – staple ear decoration for mini-cab drivers, construction site foremen and, well, all ****s who think that a flashing piece of plastic hooked into their ear hole looks good – were painful to be around in your day to day life, just you wait until the next mini revolution in mobile phones happens: watchphones.

That’s right, in some kind of back to the future style scenario, watchphones are back in the shape of the Samsung S9110 (and we say back, because one of Samsung’s last notable efforts in this category came in the shape of the SPH-WP10, an almost unbelievable ten years ago). And as well as the S9110, LG are getting in on the act with the GD910, although their effort is arriving next month rather than this, and costs £1,000 whereas the Samsung S9110 comes in at under £400. But regardless, we don’t doubt that in a few months, you’re going to start seeing a lot of people with strange looking watches. All the most strange when you see them seemingly dislocate their elbows and wrist in an attempt to talk into these things like they’re a phone. See…. do you see why we’re worried? Because, as quaint an idea as a watchphone is, we just fail to see how it’s going to be all that practical. Either it’s going to be something you have to twist and turn up to your face in some weird way, or it’ll just be on permanent speakerphone (which will really, really wind us up). Or it’ll go down the route of the so-called “hands-free” sets. And don’t get us started on hands-free sets… IT’S NOT HANDS-FREE YOU IDIOT BECAUSE YOU JUST TOOK LONGER TO USE YOUR HANDS TO STICK THE EAR PIECE IN, RE-ADJUST THE STUPID DANGLING MICROPHONE AND THEN ANSWER THE CALL THAT YOU WOULD NORMALLY TAKE TO ANSWER THE CALL. AND LOOK! LOOK! NOW YOU’RE HOLDING THE MICROPHONE BIT CLOSE TO YOUR MOUTH AS YOU TALK. JUST USE THE ****ING PHONE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON YOU ****ING **** ****.

Ahem. Anyway. Yeah. Watchphones! Woooo!

Check out this Samsung S9110 review for less rant, more stats. Or have an early look at some Samsung S9110 deals.

Preston! Cool! That’s where Peter Kay’s from, right?

Erm, no, that’s Bolton.

Oh. Preston! I know! That’s where Johnny Vegas is from!

Erm, no again. He’s from St Helen’s.

Hmmm. Right then.

Exactly. Because the only amusing overweight people in Preston are the one’s in the queue for the fish and chip shops. The only comedians in Preston are the ones that campaigned to make it Britain’s 50th city in 2002. The only thing funny, at all, about Preston in fact, is, well, yeah, we don’t live there. That’s pretty funny.

So step up the Samsung S5600, the only phone, as far as our extensive knowledge extends, named after a depressed town (it is not, repeat not, a city) in Lancashire. Which is all a bit of a shame, because this is not a bad phone at all, as this Samsung Preston review might show, or as Samsung’s official page will definitely claim. What you’ve got, in fact, is merely the Tocco Lite with a few useful add-ons like 3G and GPS. And the Tocco Lite sold many more millions than even we were expecting, so why try and re-invent the wheel. But why, why oh why oh why, give the wheel such a ridiculous name? It’s beyond us. Suggestions welcome on a postcard though. Or you could just check out these Samsung Preston deals, or have a little look at the disturbing video below.

Like someone who spots trains, collects stamps or meticulously kills and eats their victims, we take a special pride in our foibles. One of the main, of which, is the practice of reading between the lines of press releases and pages like the official page for the Samsung Tocco Lite. Why do we take so much perverse pleasure in doing so? Well, because if not outrightly lying to us, this marketing guff is at least written in a language that bears little or no resemblance to how, erm, anyone in the world ever speaks or writes. But aside from that, we also like to uncover the truths that hide behind all this guff, and present it to you, our precious and tasty reader.

For example, “With its vivid and responsive full touch screen, the Tocco Lite will appeal to consumers who want to access their social media sites in a simple and colourful way.”

See, it’s fun… Fun! No? Not sold? Not going to join our little group of press release interpreters? Bah! Fine then, suit yourself. Go read this Samsung Tocco Lite review to yourself instead. Or watch the confusingly named phone in this foreign ad that we promise is the same phone as the Samsung Tocco Lite.

If the Cold War taught us anything – which, thinking about it, it really should have done – it’s that two or more powers squaring up to each other and building more and more and bigger and better weapons and waving them around and screaming at each other whilst hovering fingers dangerously in the direction of the ‘launch’ buttons doesn’t really get us anywhere. Except mired in a world of mutual distrust, and of course saddled with trillions of dollars worth of debt.

But, it seems, the world has not learnt, as the Samsung Pixon 12 proves to us all too well. With its 12 megapixels of camera-light-receivingness strapped onto its chest, the Pixon 12 is a veritable human bomber of a phone, out to make a statement and attract lots of attention but, all in all, being little more than a worked up show-off. And why is that? Well, as with most of these idiots, there ideas can be disproved via a series of very short, very simple, and utterly infallible facts. Such as

1. More megapixels does not = better pictures
2. More megapixels only = better pictures when spread across the far, far larger light-receiving sensors of, say, a real camera
3. The only thing more megapixels definitely = is more megabytes in the file size created

However, the world being as it is we don’t doubt that many millions are going to be conned into disagreeing with all of the above, listening to raving lunatics and boldly showing off their new Pixon 12 in many a pub around the world come it’s release date. The sad thing is it’s not a bad phone in its own right, as this Samsung Pixon 12 review tells you, but oh well, we’re off to go and join the hari krishnas and preach peace and love and happiness to all men. Join us. Or just watch the video below instead.

Google has a vendetta against the home computer it seems. What with the rumours about the Gdrive growing by the day (the thing that stores all your files in some distant Google land instead of in your home, so you can access them wherever you are in the world), and now with the recent spate of Android phones announced, you’ll soon be able to do all your daily Googling from the comfort of, well, anywhere you can whip out your phone.

And the i7500 is going to be one of the first to hit these shores when it’s released in the next month or so (we’re ignoring the HTC Magic seeing as how HTC have a paltry 0.1% share of the market here). So what will the Samsung i7500 let you do exactly? Apart from all the usual stuff you’d expect from a decent enough smartphone (Wifi, 3G, camera, media player, etc. – see this Samsung i7500 review for the full lowdown), it will give you superfast access to all the following, which we personally use each and everyday:

• Gmail

• Google Maps – Integrated GPS receiver enables comprehensive use of features such as My Location, Google Latitude, Street View, local searches and detailed route descriptions
• YouTube
• Google Calendar
• Google Talk
• Hundreds of other apps available on the Android Market

What more needs to be said? If you’re a keen Googler, the Samsung i7500 could be the most satisfying phone you’ve ever bought. Have a look at the video below for a sneak peek of what’s to come:

We like phones that aren’t pretentious. We like phones that don’t pretend to be more than what they are. And we like phones that feel well-designed from top to bottom and from inside to you.

Three simple things, but three things that very, very rarely get a tick from us in relation to one phone. The Samsung Jet S8000, however, gets a nice big red check against each one of these.

Not pretentious? Nope, this is a mid-range phone, not pretending to be anything else. But that’s not to say it’s lazy, either. A good example is the camera. Fair enough, it’s only 5 megapixels. But with those five megapixels you get Autofocus, a Dual LED Flash, auto Face Detection, Smile Shot, Panorama option, Blink Detection, Geo-tagging and a nice simple Photo Editor. Then add to that the video capturing at 720×480 with 30fps, and also the slow motion video capture (QVGA resolution) and suddenly your nodding your head, impressed with what Samsung have achieved with the Samsung Jet.

Doesn’t pretend to be more than it is? Nope, this could be nothing other than a mid-ranger. The screen, for example, is not really that big – 3.1-inches. It’s plenty big enough for all the things the phone can do, and with the AMOLED technology is as bright and clear as anything else out there, but Samsung haven’t been tempted to stick a needlessly huge screen on a crap phone to make it seem bigger and better than it is. Not only this, but the rest of the phone’s design is absolutely perfect – from the colours to the materials to the curves, it’s all fantastic.

So it’s well-designed from top-to-bottom and outside. And inside, with the newest version of TouchWiz, zipping along thanks to the 800mhz processor, all is more than dandy too.

What more can we say? Apart from watch this space very carefully indeed, to find out the launch date, as the Samsung Jet could be a phone to make you as happy as it’s made us. Read a full Samsung Jet Review here for more persuading, or have a look at the nice little video below:

We were listening to someone from Samsung telling us about the Samsung Omnia 2 recently and we got that feeling you get when you’re trying not to stare at or ask about something. You know the feeling: a girl with an impressive chest area is trying to tell you about saving pandas… or a different girl with what seems to be a bullet wound in her hand keeps talking about the weather. You keep biting your tongue, keep nodding and mumbling things in agreement, but eventually it’s too much, you snap, you find yourself screaming. And this is what we screamed: WE DON’T CARE ABOUT THE DAMN GPS WITH ITS PRE-INSTALLED NAVIGATIONAL SOFTWARE, TELL US ABOUT THE MASSIVE SCREEN YOU IDIOTS.

Because the i8000 has a massive screen (right in the middle of its face, for everyone to see… how could we not stare?) and after deciding not to call security, the nice girl from Samsung told us all about it.

It is, in fact, the biggest screen ever seen on any mobile phone. Ever. Full stop. That one impressed us.

It utilises AMOLED technology. You know, active-matrix organic light-emitting diode technology. Which means that not only is the screen bright, crisp and clear, not only is it not backlit and so not a massive power drain for the battery, it is also super thin, allowing the Samsung Omnia 2 I8000 to measure an almost obscenely thin 12mm.

With 800×480 pixels the Samsung Omnia 2 is fully widescreen and plays back at a DVD-like quality (that’s not to say, of course, that it’s the same quality as DVD, just that it looks like it could be, and for our superficial selves, that’s plenty good enough).

Then she went on to talk about the GPS again, then the Wifi, the new TouchWiz interface and all sorts of other things, but we were lost. Hypnotised in fact, staring straight into the big wide screen of this very attractive phone. Check out a Samsung Omnia 2 review here with less infatuation, more facts, and the video below almost, but doesn’t quite, do justice to the object of our affection.

The Samsung Omnia Lite is shaping up to be a pretty nifty little smartphone. Samsung have deliberately stripped some of the high-end features available in the other members of the Omnia family meaning the Samsung Omnia Lite B7300 lives up to its name – it’s very thin for a smartphone (just 13mm) and weighs in just over a hundred grams (impressive especially as it includes a 1500 mAh battery that will provide a reasonable amount of juice for all your needs.

Thanks to all this, the Lite B7300 is a bit of a looker – with brushed metal features, a distinctive cell-like pattern on the back, and a great curvy body that will feel great in the hand, this is a huge step in the right direction away from the somewhat brick-like Omnia phones we’ve seen so far.

The screen isn’t of the highest resolution (64k colours, compared to some similar phones that are hitting the 16million mark), the camera’s a paltry 3 megapixels and has no flash, but we think these are minor enough that what’s left will be more than adequate for all but the heaviest of users. Being Samsung, there’s also the great TouchWiz interface (designed specifically for all-touch handsets) and loads of interesting navigational features and apps to take advantage of the onboard GPS.

There’s also WiFi, 3.5G data connectivity, a maximum download speed on HSDPA of 3.6mbps and an FM radio, so we think you’ll find more than enough to keep your fingers happy for the length of your contract if you choose to buy it that way. It might not be about to break into any new territory or win any awards, but we think the Samsung Omnia Lite B7300’s going to do more than an adequate job for those of you out there who want a smartphone without having to worry about taking out a loan to afford it. Check out this full Samsung Omnia Lite review here for even more details. And look forward to a launch sometime around October (or even earlier if Samsung get their fingers out)