Sony Ericsson Jalou. The ladies with the bits

Ah, self-made promotional videos, is there a branch of film that deserves to die a more horrific, painful death? Short answer: no. Short reasoning behind proposed violence: the video below for the Sony Ericsson Jalou.

Look at it… just look. Does the world get any more patronising? Are metaphors ever so brutally disgusting. Is the complete absence of anything, absolutely anything at all redeeming really possible.

There is, in fact, so little subtlety, so little depth to this thing, that there can actually only be one intended outcome, one hoped for response from the viewers of said video. The conversation would have gone something like this, in fact:

Slimy Sony Ericsson Suit: So, what we want, what we need the consumer out-take here to be, is, you know, success, fashion, style, you know, high fashion. We want our demographic to walk away from this thinking, ‘that’s it, I want to be that stylish, that’s how I envisage myself in a perfect world: as a successful model, with successful model friends (although they’re not quite as successful as me), living on a rollercoaster of beaches and bars.’ And we want them to realise that they can have this life, they can tap into is by purchasing the Sony Ericsson Jalou

Director: I like, make pictures. Picture films with the ladies with the nice parts. Pretty ladies with no clothes.

Suit: Quite, yes, well, we know your reputation. However for this film the ladies must be clothed. Not that much, mind, but with their, well, you know, parts – as it were – at least mostly – covered.

Director: Okay, yes please. I sign now where? And you tell judge I good man in next week trial?

Etc and so on and so forth. See? Do you see now?

Hopefully that cleared it all up. If you actually want to know anything about the phone (idiot!) then have a little gander at this Sony Ericsson Jalou review. It’s not as bad, to be fair, as the video suggests. But then, unless the phone actually commits hate crimes and massacres after you purchase it, it couldn’t really be quite as bad as the video suggests.